LOVE is a frequent topic of conversation in my office. People ask me about what it is, what it isn’t, how to get it, how to keep it, what’s wrong with them that they don’t have it and so forth.The answer is it all starts with self love, your unconditional love for YOU!


Many people are looking for love happiness and self definition outside themselves. And guess what, they will never find it.

Still other people are convinced that they either need to change to be in love, or change the one they love. They won’t be happy either.

There is also a group who pick love apart, “ if only he/she were taller, had a perfectly flat stomach, drove a different car…..”

And then they are those who see love as being about control. You know the partners who say “ If you really loved me you would ….” Yeah, that’s not happening.


TO GET HEALTHY LOVE YOU’VE GOT TO GIVE HEALTHY LOVE. If you get feedback from various sources that the way you offer love is hurtful or abusive or obsessive, seek professional help immediately.

CHECK FOR INTEGRITY. Does what you say match what you do? If not, reconsider and realign your priorities. Because you will attract a person into your life who has the EXACT SAME CORE VALUES that you have. They may express them differently, but I guarantee fundamentally they will be identical.

PRACTICE GRATITUDE. Focusing your energy on what you don’t want is going to get you just that, what you don’t want. Spend a little time each day going over all the things in your life that you appreciate and that enrich you. This will help attract what you desire.

FORECAST POSITIVITY. Negative prognostication , (“ it will never work, I can’t have this or that, that person would never want me, etc…..)” is one of the most common reasons why people can’t love themselves and accept love from others.

IGNITE COMPASSION. I bet when you saw the word ignite you thought I was going to say sexual passion. Well, believe it or not, the latter flows from the former.

ACCEPT YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY. No, that is not an excuse for being unpleasant, it’s about owning who you are, accepting your foibles, asking for forgiveness and making amends, giving of yourself where you can and receiving love graciously.

REJECT EMOTIONAL TOXICITY IN ALL ITS FORMS. It doesn’t matter the source, toxicity breeds nothing but more of the same. If you are behaving in a toxic manner, get help, immediately.

If the love you get is NOT the love you want then look TO yourself, and AT yourself. Notice I did NOT say blame yourself. And if you feel unclear as to how to proceed there are many types of professional helpers who can assist you .
Find one, do it now.

Never doubt this, LOVE is the most powerful force in existence.

💜 AND 💜

With LOVE, all things are possible.